My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
