Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
