D3 body, D1 cock
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
