Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
