uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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