she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I supernannyed him into submission
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize