what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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