That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
