Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
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