so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
