the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
