i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize