so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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