so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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