you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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