So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
