Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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