so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
