Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
