I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
