The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize