Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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