..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
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Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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