i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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