Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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