If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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