i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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