Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
