i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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