Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
