Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
