A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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