Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
