I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
