You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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