First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
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they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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