Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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