Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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