Im at strip club and am horny
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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