ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
