You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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