he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
