dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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