my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
