Quick, to the slutcave!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
