Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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