but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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