I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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