I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
