I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
