Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
