Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.