Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Found your dick twin last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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