god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize