he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize