I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
barbara walters just said penis...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize