He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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