Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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