it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
