Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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