I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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