if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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