Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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