under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
